Conversational Narcissism: 5 Signs and What You Can Do About It

Conversational narcissism is a term used to describe a communication style in which one person constantly shifts the focus of the conversation onto themselves. This can take many forms, such as interrupting the other person, ignoring what they are saying to talk about oneself, or redirecting the conversation back to oneself even if it’s not relevant. The person exhibiting conversational narcissism tends to be more interested in being heard and validated than in listening or engaging in a genuine dialogue. This type of behavior can be frustrating and alienating for the other person involved in the conversation, leading to feelings of annoyance, resentment, or disconnection.

Here are 5 signs that show that you are a conversational narcissist and what to do about it

You frequently interrupt others

Interrupting others mid-sentence is a common behavior exhibited by conversational narcissists. When we interrupt, we are signaling to the other person that their thoughts and ideas are not important to us and that we are more interested in talking about ourselves. This habit can be especially frustrating for the person speaking, as they may feel unheard or unvalued. Instead of interrupting, it’s important to practice active listening. This means fully engaging with what the other person is saying, withholding your own thoughts and opinions until it’s your turn to speak, and making a conscious effort to show interest in their perspective. By doing so, you can create a more respectful and productive conversation and foster better relationships with those around you.

Solution: Active listening is an essential skill for effective communication. When we practice active listening, we are fully present in the moment and focused on what the other person is saying, without interrupting or thinking about our own response. By doing this, we respect the other person’s perspective and ideas and make them feel heard and valued. One way to encourage active listening is to ask open-ended questions. This allows the other person to share more about their thoughts and experiences and helps shift the conversation’s focus away from ourselves. By practicing active listening and asking open-ended questions, we can build stronger relationships and create a more positive and productive dialogue with those around us.

You always bring the conversation back to yourself

When we respond to others’ experiences or feelings with our own similar stories or emotions, we may be exhibiting conversational narcissism. This behavior can stem from a desire to relate to the other person and show empathy, but it can also come across as dismissive or self-centered. Rather than immediately sharing our own experiences or emotions, it’s important to take the time to fully understand the other person’s perspective. This can involve actively listening, asking follow-up questions, and validating their feelings. By doing this, we create a more supportive and empathetic conversation that prioritizes the other person’s needs and experiences over our own.

Solution: In conversations, we may feel the urge to share our own experiences or emotions in response to others’. However, it’s important to acknowledge the other person’s experience before sharing our own, as this shows that we value and respect their perspective. One way to do this is by using a transitional phrase that validates their feelings, such as “That sounds really difficult” or “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” This can help to shift the focus of the conversation back to the other person and make them feel heard and understood. After acknowledging their experience, we can then share our own similar story or emotion in a way that doesn’t detract from the other person’s experience. By doing this, we create a more empathetic and supportive conversation that prioritizes the needs and experiences of both parties.

You monopolize the conversation

If we find ourselves doing most of the talking during conversations while ignoring the other person’s input, we may be exhibiting conversational narcissism. This behavior can stem from a desire to be heard and validated, but it can also come across as dismissive or self-centered. To avoid dominating the conversation, it’s important to actively listen to the other person and give them space to share their thoughts and experiences. We can do this by asking open-ended questions, offering encouragement and validation, and being mindful of our own speaking time. By being more balanced in our communication, we create a more engaging and respectful conversation that values the perspectives of all parties involved.

Solution: In order to avoid dominating the conversation, it’s important to balance the dialogue between ourselves and the other person. One way to do this is by actively asking the other person questions and allowing them the space to share their own thoughts and experiences. This can help shift the conversation’s focus away from ourselves and toward the other person’s perspective. If we notice that we’ve been talking for a while, we can take a moment to pause and ask the other person what they think about the topic. This not only shows that we value their opinion, but also helps to create a more engaging and productive conversation. By balancing the conversation and actively encouraging the other person’s input, we can create a more respectful and empathetic dialogue with those around us.

You downplay or dismiss other people’s problems

If we tend to minimize other people’s issues or offer quick solutions without truly understanding their perspective, we may be exhibiting conversational narcissism. This behavior can stem from a desire to solve the other person’s problem or show expertise, but it can also come across as dismissive or uncaring. Instead of minimizing someone else’s issues or jumping straight to solutions, it’s important to take the time to fully understand their perspective. We can do this by actively listening, asking clarifying questions, and offering validation and empathy. By doing so, we show respect for the other person’s experience and create a more supportive and empathetic conversation. If we do have advice or solutions to offer, it’s important to do so in a way that prioritizes the other person’s needs and experiences over our own. By being mindful of our communication style, we can create more positive and productive interactions with those around us.

Solution: Showing empathy and validation for the other person’s feelings is an important aspect of effective communication. Even if we don’t fully understand the other person’s situation, it’s important to let them know that we hear and care about their well-being. This can involve actively listening to their perspective, acknowledging the difficulty of their situation, and offering words of support and encouragement. By doing so, we create a more supportive and empathetic conversation that prioritizes the other person’s needs and experiences. It’s also important to avoid minimizing their emotions or telling them to “just get over it.” Instead, we can offer validation and understanding, which can help the other person feel heard and valued. By practicing empathy and validation in our conversations, we can create stronger and more positive relationships with those around us.

You don’t take criticism well

If we become defensive or argumentative when someone points out our conversational habits, we may be exhibiting further signs of conversational narcissism. This behavior can stem from a desire to protect our ego or avoid being criticized, but it can also come across as dismissive or uninterested in the other person’s perspective. Instead of becoming defensive or argumentative, it’s important to listen to the feedback we are receiving and take it as an opportunity to improve our communication skills. We can do this by acknowledging the other person’s perspective, asking for specific examples, and taking the time to reflect on our own behavior. By doing so, we can become more self-aware and mindful of our communication style, which can lead to more positive and productive interactions with those around us. Ultimately, being open to feedback and willing to change our behavior is key to improving our relationships and creating more empathetic and respectful conversations.

Solution: When receive criticism about our conversational habits, it can be tempting to immediately dismiss the feedback or become defensive. However, this response can indicate further signs of conversational narcissism. A better approach is to try and approach criticism with an open mind. This means taking a moment to reflect on the feedback and considering how you can improve your communication style. It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect, and we all have areas in which we can improve. By doing so, we can become more self-aware and mindful of our communication patterns, leading to more empathetic and productive conversations. Additionally, asking for specific examples can help us understand the issue better and identify specific areas where we need to make changes. By being open to feedback and willing to change our behavior, we can create stronger and more positive relationships with those around us.

Final thought

By recognizing and addressing our own conversational narcissism, we can become more empathetic and effective communicators in our personal and professional lives. By actively working to change these habits, we can create more positive and productive interactions with those around us, leading to stronger relationships and better outcomes overall. Ultimately, being aware of these negative communication patterns is the first step towards becoming a better listener and more empathetic communicator.